The Good, The Bad, and The Happily Ever After

I was feeling brave and up for anything, so I took the twins shopping for Easter clothes.

My first obstacle was getting past the play area. I should've thought to park where we wouldn't have to pass it, but that would've been too easy. There's a big alligator slide and lots of kids having so much fun. Emma and Ethan couldn't figure out why I was going the wrong way. "Alligator! Alligator!"

Meltdown. Two Meltdowns.

I see why they are called meltdowns. Little kids melt into puddles of despair and defiance at every opportunity.

Ethan melted down flat on the floor, kicking and screaming. Emma saw this...and made a calculated decision to melt on down as well.  Mirror twins. I was just standing there...like a popsicle stick. I had to laugh.

Touche, children. 

The offering: "Get up, babies. Come on, stand up. Let's go look at some awesome clothes! Yay! It'll be fun! You want a new dress, Emma? Ethan, how 'bout an awesome new shirt?"

I don't even think they could hear me. I squatted down and lowered my tone: "Want Momma to spank your bottoms?"

Showdown. [Cue music]

Quieting somewhat...but not fully convinced.

"Do you hear me? Momma is gonna Spank. Your. Bottoms...unless you stand up right now and walk."

I honestly believe that a firm little swat on the butt is a reality check that is sometimes needed, a physical--break--from whatever horrible behavior. We are at a crucial place in our level of communication. When they find themselves so consumed with rage and defiance that they cannot see or hear what's best for them, it is my loving duty to intercede the dysfunctional mental loop and--SNAP!--them out of their handicapped hypnosis.

Thoughtful expressions: "No...."

"Okay, then let's move on. Come on. Let's go."

They stood up and we moved on with a little more whining as we made our way.  "Thank you so much." I changed the subject: "Look at the pretty trees!"

"That's very awesome," said Ethan.

"That IS very awesome," I said.

Then we stopped to look at the pretty Easter Bunny display, and I guess he wasn't home.  "Eggs!" said Emma. "Chickens! Whatchoo doin?" Then we had two more mini meltdowns when it was time to move on.

"This sure is an awesome shopping trip, kids." I couldn't help but laugh at us. I kept talking to them, hoping it would help them move on.

I found a pretty dress in Penny's but I couldn't find a coordinating suit or dress shirt for Ethan. So we moved on.

About the time we made it to the other end of the mall, I noticed that Emma had lost one of her sparkly, pink shoes. "Emma, oh no! Why didn't you tell Momma you lost your shoe? Maybe it's just...no where in sight. Awesome." So we walked back (very slowly, mind you) to Penny's. Emma was a little confused as to what we were searching for: "Justin Bieber! Wha a' you?" she kept calling out.  We looked and asked around, but no Justin Bieber, and no pink, sparkly shoe. So, once again, we moved on.

We're definitely not going back toward the--"You know what? We're just gonna go buy you some new ones, Em."

Famous Footwear, here we come.

I pocketed the sparkly slipper. Emma had her foot measured after Ethan showed her that it was safe. We bought the nearest pair of 7s that we could find. I told the cashier to ditch the box and bag, and we moved on with Emma wearing her new, white Mary Janes.

I felt strangely happy despite our difficulties--and we were back to our hand-in-hand-little-shuffle-two-step through the mall.

Finding two Easter outfits that go together was harder than usual, so we shuffled even further to the opposite end of the mall...to the last store, the dreaded Dillard's--where there are plenty of beautiful clothes, none of which happen to be on sale.

I kept my eyes peeled for the sparkly slipper. We sure are a slow-moving trio. I imagined flagging down an older kid and giving them a mission to look for the slipper. That one--I bet she could find Emma's little sparkly slipper in a flash. But we just kept shuffling forward.

We made it to the maze of Dillard's and I found a dress with bright colored flowers for Emma and a yellow shirt and khaki pants for Ethan. They'll look perfect together. While I was checking out, Ethan went for a crawl around and around the cashier's station. "I'm a turtle, Mom." Emma saw this, and she thought it looked like so much fun.

"I'm a turtle, Mom!"

"Hi, turtles! Nice to meet you!" And then we moved on with our mission accomplished.

We shuffled down to the play area and played on the alligator slide for a while before we headed home. It was already way past the twins' bedtime. They should sleep well tonight.

And as we were shuffling through the dark parking lot, we saw a little pink twinkle in the distance.

Jo-Jo

The kids stay at my mom's on Thursdays this semester. I love it. They love it. I think Mimi loves it, too. We wake up the kids a little earlier than they usually wake, and when we tell them it's the day to go to Mimi's house, they force their sleepy bodies from their bed and stumble blindly and hurriedly into the living room. They say, "Okay! Let's go!"

When I get there to pick them up, Mom gives me the update on what they did and what they ate. 

One day, during the update she said, "Oh--I've been meaning to tell you... Have you heard about Jo-Jo?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She had a look on her face that I wasn't sure how to read, a smile with eyes that told me that she was about to tell me something unusual. "You haven't heard him talk about Jo-Jo?"

"No."

"Ethan has an imaginary friend," she said, smiling, watching Ethan run around the living room.

"What?"

"Yes. Sometimes little boys have them. It's okay."

I wasn't sure what I was feeling. I was confused. And I was a little scared. Troubling thoughts came rushing into my mind. What's wrong with him? I thought. Is he hallucinating? OMG--does he see dead people? Is he emotionally disturbed--Is he schizophrenic? Surely he is too young to make-believe so deeply, to invent a person, to talk to someone who is not there. Is he lonely? How could a twin be lonely for a friend? But then my thoughts turned to comfort me: Or...Maybe he is a genius. He is a special kid. He is probably just super creative. Maybe we watch too many imaginative things on t.v. like Pete's Dragon and Horton Hears a Who.   

Pete walks around with his invisible dragon and upsets the entire town. Horton stomps around the jungle with a flower on which he claims there is an entire town of friends. As a matter of fact, he speaks to the mayor of the town who has 96 daughters and one son...named Jo-Jo. The mean kangaroo deems Horton a danger to the jungle. No one believes Pete about his dragon and no one believes Horton about his town, not until they make their presence undeniable. And once they do, everyone is happy. These "imaginary" friends seem to renew the non-believers' hearts and restore overall harmony.

"What does he say?" I asked.
"He just points him out or mentions him when he's playing."
"Do you think he really sees something? Is there something wrong, you think?"
"No, he's just pretending. It's okay. A lot of kids have one."

"Ethan, where's Jo-Jo?" Mom asked him.
"He's right here...on the ground," Ethan said. And he quickly squatted down and touched the floor with his hand, and sprang back up. No big deal. I was amazed. I was proud. I was curious.

I went home and read up on the internet about imaginary friends. I read that it is common and normal, seen especially in extroverted and creative children, and usually outgrown by age 5. It is not a sign of anything wrong with the child. "It's just plain fun," said one article.

Now and then I hear him telling Jo-Jo not to do something, "No, no, Jo-Jo! Don't do that!" or just randomly saying his name. Once, in the bathtub he said, "Hi, Jo-Jo!" and kissed the air beside him. "I kissed Jo-Jo!"

It's amazing to me what a little mind can do.

When I hear him speak his name, I sometimes ask him, "Where is Jo-Jo, Ethan?" and I get varying replies:

"He's workin'."
"He's on the couch."
"He's right here." [tapping the air beside him]
"He's over there."

He doesn't smile, like when he is tricking me. It is a matter-of-fact response. There is no hesitation. He's here and there. Jo-Jo doesn't seem to do much or cause any trouble like Drop Dead Fred. Apparently, he just sort of...sits around. But where ever he is, and whatever he is doing, Ethan is always certain:

Jo-Jo is near.

Opera Bites

Before you read this "twincident," I should prepare you: I have always been a little weird. And I'm cool with it. This may come as a shock to some of you. ;) I'm quirky and silly. I can definitely be serious and even dark at times. But I can also be lighthearted and fun. If the context is right, I can find amusement in the simplest and most random ways.

Well...for the longest time, I have suffered from--what should I call them--..."opera outbursts." I control them in public, but when I am alone or in the comfortable company of loved ones, I just let 'em on out. If I am cold or bored or just feeling silly, I am compelled to release my energy by way of a shrill yell, a sort of opera note. Sometimes I use an Italian line from my days of high school or middle school choir, but most of the time, it's just an extended...note.  I may even dramatize it further with a raise of my fist or an open hand--And then I carry on as if nothing has happened. Now, that may seem odd to you. If you were to witness it, you may question my sanity, but for me, my family and those who know me well, it is perfectly normal. My husband sees it as a mild nuisance. He rolls his eyes or tells me to "stop it." I think he secretly likes it though. He won't admit it, but I think he'd remember it fondly if I weren't around. ;)

Emma always smiles. Mommy's feeling silly! Yay! It's a signal to them for fun and carefree expression. They bang on the table and yell out chants or songs. Emma's face mimics mine when I opera outburst. And then she smiles eagerly, like she too wants to make that shrill, vibrato sound. Ethan tends toward opposition. But he opposes everything. I think he gets it from his daddy. ;) "No singing, Mom! Stop doing that! Don't do that--Any. More. Times!" But I think I detect a smile behind those crossed eyebrows. The boys will come around...maybe. 

But get this! I have now discovered a practical use for opera outbursts! Yep. If Emma won't eat her dinner, I try to spoon feed her with an enthusiastic face and voice. She won't open her mouth. I have an outburst, and she opens wide! Viola! In goes the spoon! "Good girl!! That's wonderful! Yummy!" And she is proud when Mommy is proud. Ethan sees this and he responds as well! 

"Aaaahhh....."--gulp.  "Aaaahhhh....."--gulp.

Wow! Who knew this silly quirk of mine would come in handy someday? It almost seems like an involuntary response for them, like a baby's deep gasp when you blow in his face--and like a toddler's wide open mouth when you have an opera outburst--a perfectly normal reflex! Ha! 

The other day Emma decided that she didn't need my help with her "opera bites" anymore. She could do it herself. I sang out; she sang out...and then she took a big bite.   "Good one! Keep practicing!" I say.  

 

And she did.

"What's the deal in there?" their dad yelled from the living room.

"We're just eating dinner, Dad!"

The Joker

It's recently become evident that our son has inherited the joker gene.

Rodney loves to trick people. He gets such a kick out of making someone think something other than the truth. This sounds like a negative trait, but it's really playful and even endearing...in an irritating sort of way.  ;) I'm getting better at detecting it, but he still gets me from time to time. He gets much amusement out of tricking me, his co-workers and friends. It might be an entirely fabricated story, a prank or a creative answer to a simple question. It usually causes at least a mild upset or disappointment for the listener; otherwise, it wouldn't be worth his effort. Eventually, he tells the truth and gets such a kick out of the fact that he really had you going. It's absolutely maddening, but you're relieved that the truth is so much better than the lie, and you can't be angry with him for long. You have to smile back at him. You still want to smack him, but you will do so while smiling.

When I share one of his tricks with his Nannie Bette, she gets a knowing look on her face and looks accusingly to her husband. She says he is to blame for the trickster trait. Papaw Jack is sneaky too.

Apparently, there's a thrill in misleading someone into thinking that you've done something you were specifically asked not to do...or that something disappointing has happened. And then you eventually reveal the truth or, better yet, get to be there and see the look on their faces when they finally discover it for themselves. Haha!

The hilarity.

I have tried to get back at him a few times when I could think fast enough. I once told him that I bought a Kirby carpet shampooer from the door-to-door salesman who frequents our neighborhood. If you know how my husband is about money and how much those things cost, you see the potential here. So I really did let him come in and shampoo our carpet for free in exchange for listening to his pitch. I watched. Afterward, Rodney called to make sure I was strong. "But our vacuum wasn't doing a good job, babe. You should've seen how much dirt he got up after ours. And he came down a thousand dollars...."

And it was pretty funny.

Ethan, at the age of two, has already started practicing. While we were reading one of their books together, he told his first joke, played his first trick. He likes to name everything he sees in their books. It was the farm animal book that he knows so well. Even on the thirty-fifth time through the book, he's still excited about every one: "Horse! Cow! Chicken!" but this time, when we turned the page to the pig, he pointed, hesitated and said, "It's a.....HOUSE!" and he grinned and peered at me eagerly from the corner of his eye.

"That's not a house!" I dramatically said, and he laughed his most mischievous laugh. "That's a pig!" I said.
"No, it's a house!" he shrieked as he covered his mouth and giggled. He poked the pig again: "House!" It was his first attempt at humor. And it was funny. He was funny. We laughed and laughed. Silly boy. Ethan had stepped up his Name That Animal game. I was so proud. He kept repeating it for quite a while and I made sure to laugh every time.

The other night, I was struggling to brush his teeth as usual. He makes it so difficult with his screaming and struggling. I have to hold him down on the floor, gently of course, with his arms under my legs so my hands are free to hold his mouth and brush his teeth. I dodge his kicks toward my face and I calmly talk to him: "You gotta brush your teeth, bubba! Mommy wants you to have nice..., white teeth. You don't wanna have yellow teeth, do ya?" Just then, his eyes focused on mine and his phony cries became giggles. I ran with it. "Your teeth might turn yellow!"
"No!" he screamed through his laughter.
"And if you still don't brush your teeth, they might even turn green! and black!!" I said smiling.
"I don't want white! I want YELLOW teeth!" he yelled, "and green! and black!"
"No! Mommy wants you to have white teeth!"
"Yellow!" [hysterical laughter]
When we were all done, he ran all around the house saying that he wanted yellow and green and black teeth. Every time I brush his teeth and anytime he sees anyone brushing their teeth, it's the big joke now. "You have YELLOW teeth! Green!" Ha!

He grows more and more fond of falsities every day. It's in his blood...Son of Rodney, Prince of Pranks.

Our little Batman is a joker.

(Related Post: Little Fakers!)

Mimi's Story: "My Inner Child"

This post was written by MaryGail Nelson

This Thursday started out chilly and blustery but the weather was just fine with us.  We had all the protective covering and equipment we needed to help us  prepare for the adventures of the day. Two wooden spoons?...check.  Empty coffee can?...check.  Two plastic cups for scooping?...check. Potting soil in a big plastic tub?...check. Oh, the opportunities these tools supplied!  Ahhhh, a secret garden.  We stirred in water to make our dusty soil workable.  None of  us really knew how much stirring and scooping would be needed but none of us cared.  It was the process we loved.  What shall we plant? Tomatoes? A definite no! Squash? No. Broccoli? No. Eggplant? No. Beans? No. Flowers? No. Then what shall we plant? " Mashed tatatoes", Batman exclaimed happily!!! Meanwhile, Super Chicken was intensely stirring and spooning the soil which would be necessary for the job ahead. 

All of a sudden the wind whipped up and some of our tools were sent careening through the back yard.  "Catch it"!  I screamed and the chase was on.  The plastic cup and coffee can were relatively easy to catch for such a dynamic duo.  However, the thrill of the chase encouraged them to allow it to happen over and over and over again. But as we reached the front yard there was another activity that begged our attention. The bird bath!  What a lovely place to make soup.  Thank goodness we still had our spoons and a bit of potting soil.  And what kind of soup shall we make?  Well  chocolate soup with green beans of course.

Just when I spied Super Chicken's tired little eyes which suggested we should retire to our cave, Batman spotted a suspicious grove of fotinias. Nothing would do but to investigate, so tired little SC and I followed the masked munchkin into the thicket.  Wow! What a wonderland. I've never seen those tired little eyes perk up so fast. Inside the bushes the sun starved limbs were bare and rooms began to appear and the possibilities were enticing. Both super heroes ran in and out and through the special place. Could be a perfect castle, or maybe the best hideout ever.  Wish I knew what those little eyes really saw.  I was only a bystander that Thursday afternoon in that little Eden in the trees.  But I found something under the fotinias too.  It was my illusive child within.  Thank you Emma and Ethan.

Kacie's Story: "Kacies 2nd time Babysitting Emma and Ethan"

This post was written by Kacie Ashing.

I have been looking forward for this day to come for a while. Now it has finally came! When I first got to their house, Emma and Ethan saw me and had a big smile on their cute little faces. Ethan was jumping up and down! Emma kept saying hi! It was super cute! When their mom and dad started to leave Emma started to cry just like last time (Kacie's First Time). Poor Emma. :(, but then I just picked her up and bounced her on my side for awhile. Ethan was happy, but then Rodney came in the door. I guess he forgot something but then Emma was still crying and she ran to her daddy. Her daddy was saying no Emma go to Kacie, and she did. Then Rodney gave me the $20! Thats what I get for babysitting. I said thank you! Then Rodney and LeeAnn left to go eat and see their movie!

Emma stopped crying! Then I put them in their high chairs so they could eat. I gave them their yummy food! They both ate a lot! I kept giving them more food until they finally said all done! They have super cute voices! But before they said all done I kept playing with them and making them laugh! I love both of their laughs! Ethan kept saying Kacie! Super coote! Emma kept singing itsy bitsy spider! Later Emma kept throwing food in the floor and I would say Emma Lynn dont throw food! She would keep doing it. It was funny! But I cleaned the mess up! Emma would also sing her abc's while Ethan was laughing and screaming! It was funny! Then LeeAnn called and said they werent going to the movie they were just going to a friends house I said ok.

Later on we went to play in the living room! THOSE KIDS WERE HIPER! They were running around climbing on stuff and I would run over to get them down and the other one would climb on something. They were cracking up laughing! Emma would see my bracelet and say pretty over and over. It was coote! Sometimes they would hit each other and I would say no no guys dont hit each other. They would watch tv every now and then and chill out! I was thankful for that! It gave me time to get a drink and take videos of them! On my phone I have a camera where you can see yourself and when I would put the camera on Emma she would clap and I got her and Ethan to say Justin Bieber! I love Justin Bieber! I got Ethan on the camera too where he would see himself! He said Justin Bieber a lot! He would say Justin Bieber every time he looked at one of Justins pictures! He knew how to change the picture on my phone, and he would change the picture and say Justin Bieber every time! It was cute! I love the way they say Justin Bieber! Emma would write on her chalk board in the living room and she would write and then turn around and look at me and say good job! I would say good job after she did and she would start laughing. We were sitting in the chair and Emma would give her brother kisses! It was super cute!

Then I finally said ok kiddos its time to start calming down and start getting ready for bed! So I changed them into their pajamas, changed their diapers, and brushed their teeth! And while they were waiting for me to brush their teeth in the bathroom they would crawl over and try to get in the bathtub. Then Emma and Ethan started throwing little letters in the bathtub everywhere. Then I said no no guys pick those up and Ethan did. I said good boy! Emma would crawl up on the potty in the bathroom and say get down! I would tell her to get down and she would start cracking up laughing. She also did that with the laundry basket. She would turn it over and stand on it and I would say get down and all she would do was crack up laughing! Ethan would laugh too! It was hilarious! But she did that in the living room not in the bathroom! Then we went into their room and listened to music and they would dance. Super cute! When I would change the song Ethan would say You did it! Then when Ethan would change the song he would say I did it! Every time a song ended Emma would say yeah and clap! Then I finally put them in the toddler bed and they played until they were sleepy.

Later Emma started acting tired. I told them it was time to go to bed. Ethan said nnnooo no no its not time to go to bed. He would say I not go to bed. Then he said but but Kacie. It was the way he said it. He said it soo cutely. It was funny. Then he kept saying I cant alieve it. I think he was saying I cant believe it. It was hilarious. Then he wanted his animals I gave them to him. Then he started to get kind of tired when he saw me rocking Emma. Emma was just laying on me and fell asleep so I took her into her room! Surprisingly she didn't wake up! I put her into bed Then I played with Ethan for a little while until he was really sleepy.

Then I finally rocked Ethan. He fell asleep! So then I took Ethan into the room too! Then I just left the two little cuties in their room asleep in their toddler bed. Then I just sat in the living room and watched the cute videos and pictures I took of them.

Then later LeeAnn and Rodney got home. They both gave me a hug. Then LeeAnn asked me if they were in their toddler bed. I said yes! Then LeeAnn and Rodney freaked out! They were like Kacie its the first time they have ever slept in that crib. I was like really? Because I thought they have always slept in that toddler crib. But they havent. It was special because I put them in there by myself. And it was their first time sleeping in that toddler bed. We were all proud of me.

Then LeeAnn said guys I am going to go look at them for their first time sleeping in that toddler bed. So Rodney, LeeAnn, and me went into the room to see them. It was hilarious because, Rodney got his phone out to take pictures and LeeAnn told him to turn the flash on so he could see. He did and they were still asleep. Then Rodney took a lot of pictures for their first time sleeping in the toddler bed. Then LeeAnn said, let me do it i'm better and Rodney said I think I got this. It was hilarious! :). Then Rodney took more pictures and then gave the phone to LeeAnn. Then she took a lot of pictures and they were all blurry. Then she gave the phone to me and I took some I got one good one. Then we gave each other a hug. Then my mom walked in and had an idea for me to go get down with them and act like im praying. So I did. We got some good pictures of that. Then we went out of the room into the living room before we woke them up.

Then we all gave each other a hug. It was time for me to go home. So I did. But first I gave LeeAnn and Rodney a big hug THAT WAS A GOOD NIGHT.