Kissy Face

I know all siblings love each other. I love my sister so much and she loves me. When we were kids, she loved to kiss my chubby cheeks. I thought she was the coolest kid ever to live. There is no love like a sibling's. They are your first true friend. But I still think there's something extra special about the relationship of twins. They live every moment and every milestone of their lives with each other, through each other, for each other, and despite each other. They know no solitude. It's almost like the space between them does not exist. They are bonded by invisible threads of energy and love. They must share everything they have from day one. Every single toy is dually owned from the start. Every birthday is shared; their room is shared; their bed is shared; their food is shared; their drinks are shared, and every cold is shared. Neither has had a single moment as an only child. They know no seniority or rivalry (yet). I hope being boy/girl will spare them some of the rivalry that many same-sex twins feel.

They are sad when the other is sad. Ethan has a tendency of impatience when it comes to food. I put the baby gate up so they won't be in the way or be hurt while I'm preparing meals. Ethan just stands there and cries or repeats over and over the name of the particular item he is craving. One time Emma came up to Ethan as he stood there leaning over the gate, crying like a starving child, and she put her hand on his back and patted him gently, saying, "I so sorry, Athan." She leaned her head toward his head and I could tell that she truly meant it. Ethan looked appreciative of her empathy and slowed down his crying for a full hug. If Emma is crying, Ethan has been known to repeat his mother's often used phrase, "Poor baby!" or "Don't cry, Emma." They even say these things to themselves. Emma sometimes tells herself through mopey tears, "It's okay. It's alright." Sometimes they can tune the crying sibling out, but many times, the look of despair on the other's face inspires despair in the other. "Emma's sad...." They wish they could join each other in "time-out." I shut the door, and say, "Brother is in time-out." She wails out in sympathy.

They are happy when the other is happy. If Daddy is playing with Ethan, and Ethan is laughing happily, Emma laughs happily too. She watches with a big smile on her face. Without rushing over to get in on the fun, she enjoys her brother's joy just as much as her own. Ethan tells Emma that she looks "so pretty" when she puts on her church clothes or when she wears a bow or a headband. When I am playing with Emma, Ethan thinks it is so funny. He wants to help make her laugh and say, "boop!" as he touches her on the nose just like Momma. And if he does it a little too hard, Emma still appreciates his effort. If Ethan is laying on his back and Emma wants to give him a kiss, she just leans down and gives him one, right on the lips. She might lean all of her weight right on his belly with her hands, but Ethan just grunts through the discomfort and puckers up. And they both say, "Ohhh, so sweet," just like Momma.

They kiss each other right on the lips, and some might think this should be corrected. I think it's sweet. They're only 2. It is most likely a learned behavior. Mommy and Daddy kiss on the lips, and Mommy kisses her babies on the lips. In my family, we did not kiss on the lips. We only kissed on the cheek. Rodney's too. I knew some friends who kissed their mothers on the lips, and I found it a little strange. I knew it wasn't inappropriate or sexual, but I thought kissing on the lips was reserved for mommies and daddies. But then my babies were born, and they had the prettiest lips. I just wanted to kiss their little mouths. So I did. And it was the sweetest little kissy in the world. I love kissing them all over their faces: their chins, their noses, their foreheads, their cheeks, their necks and their ears. I could cover them with kisses all day every day. I do try to restrain myself. Having such an affectionate mother could be the reason for their outward display of affection for one another. Or it could just be a very close bond and a natural, instinctive behavior between twins.  I don't like the idea of correcting their love for each other or telling them that they should not kiss on the mouth because it may make other people uncomfortable. I have noticed, however, that when another child comes around, Emma and Ethan think it's perfectly acceptable to kiss the other child on the mouth. The other child protests and pushes them away. So I do think some boundaries should be discussed and enforced. I don't want my kids to be socially awkward, or make other children and parents uncomfortable, or spread germs more than is usually normal.

But...if my children and I are to blame for too many kisses, if that is our most offensive fault, then...well,

kiss off! ;)