"Roses are Red; Violets are Blue..."

I painted my toenails for the first time in a while and the kids noticed it right away. Ethan said, "Awesome, dude," and Emma said, "Pretty! Pink! Red!" Emma kept pointing it out every day, kneeling down and touching my toes. I could see that the time had come for her to have her own nails painted. I wondered what I would do for Ethan. I haven't been around little boys much, so I wasn't sure. It seems like all of the decorative accessories are for girls. Girls have dresses, bows, headbands, ponytails, nail polish, make-up, jewelry, purses, glitter.... What is there for boys to make them feel special? I called out for suggestions on my Facebook page and the answer was made immediately clear: a stick-on tattoo! That's perfect! Other suggestions were made too, like colored hair gel, a hat, a tool belt, and even a bb gun! Ha ha! I guess there are some things for boys. The only one that really struck me as equal and appropriate for this situation was the tattoo. I was so happy because I could finally get excited about painting Emma's nails without feeling guilt over leaving Ethan out of the fun. I was excited for his first pretend tattoo!

Some people suggested that I go ahead and paint Ethan's nails too, but I just couldn't feel good about that plan. It's not that I thought it would affect him at all. I'm not afraid of the choices they will make later or how they will respond to society's gender roles. As long as my children are following their hearts and trying to do what's right, I will always support them.

I have spent some time thinking about the difference it would make if I'd had only a boy or only a girl. Would I have painted his nails? No. Would I have given her a stick-on tattoo? Probably not. I don't want the fact that they are boy/girl twins to change the way I interact with them separately. I've said before that I want to validate and respect their differences. I don't want to perpetuate sexist stereotypes, but I want to be fair to their genders. I don't want to try to strip them of gender in the name of modern political correctness, as if that were even possible. I want to show Emma that it's fun to be girly and feel pretty just like any other girl. I want to show Ethan that it's cool to be a boy and feel tough and handsome just like any other boy. I want to celebrate my girl in all of her girl-ness and celebrate my boy in all of his boy-ness!

Rodney had gone to his friend Jason's house to watch the OU game and I decided to invite my friend Necole over and have some fun showing the kids their first body art. Emma, the little lady, was first. I spread my painter's cloth down on the table and prepared for a messy experience. To my surprise, she held her hand very still and watched very closely as I painted her right hand. When that hand was done, I blew on her tiny nails and said, "Pretty! I love it! Don't touch it, Emma." And she didn't. She let me blow her nails dry and then sat still for the other hand. Ethan took over for me in saying, "Pretty! I love it! Don't touch it, Emma." Necole painted her nails, too, and Ethan said, "Don't touch it, Necole." He is such a sweet little man, trying to be a leader, giving instruction and complimenting the girls. We stuck tiny OU stickers on her ring finger nails to show support for her daddy's favorite football team. Emma loved her pretty nails and couldn't take her eyes off of them. "Pretty! Red!"

Then the time came for Ethan. Necole helped me step up the energy by telling Ethan, "You're gonna be a man tonight!" He kept repeating, "I'm a man!" It was so funny. The kids and I just love her because she knows how to make them feel special, speak to them on their level and be enthusiastic and fun. She helped me decide which of the tattoos he should have and where to put it. I loved her suggestion of the armband! I wet a wash cloth and she cut out the tattoo. Necole also has a little boy and has done this many times before, so I let her place it on his arm, and we wrapped it in the wet wash cloth. He was alarmed by the coldness and tried to pull away. We started counting together and he liked that. He calmed down and smiled as we counted until Necole thought it had been long enough. We pulled the cloth and the paper away and there was the most perfect OU armband tattoo. He was scared to see the bright red on his arm and cried out at first in panic. I kept reassuring him that it was "awesome, dude," and "just a sticker," like the ones he loves to stick on his hand. He quickly came around and agreed that it was in fact "awesome, dude" and "so cool, man!"