Little Fakers!

I had a professor who once said that children don't learn how to tell a lie until they're like 3 or 4 years old. She said that they simply do not understand enough about language to be intentionally deceitful before then.

I beg to differ.

First, let me remind you that Emma and Ethan love each other so much. They learned to show affection very early. It's probably the sweetest thing you'll ever see. They fully embrace each other and give so many sweet heart kisses. But, here's the thing: the kissee doesn't always want to be kissed. The kisser has to chase the other down and that rejection can be so frustrating for them.  Ethan finally catches Emma and then he knocks her down just to give her his lovins. I'm not exactly sure how to handle this one.

Then the biting started. They lean in, just like a kiss, and then--OUCH!
"Emma! No biting! That hurts! Be nice," I say.
"Mmmmaaa!" She kisses him as an apology and then she looks at me to see if I am pleased.
"Ohhhh, that's nice. Thank you," I say. She smiles. They learn quickly.

Now and then, I look over and catch one of them with a wide open mouth, teeth exposed and ready to clamp: "Ethan!"
He quickly changes his mind and gives her a kiss: "Mmmmmaaa! Oooohhhh," he says as he waits for my approval.
"Ohhh, yes, that's much better," I say. I figure I need to reinforce this behavior even though it is not exactly genuine. Ok, let's face it. This is downright deceitful. Right before he hits her in the head with a toy, he pulls it back when he hears my voice and, "See, Mom? I was just kidding. Mmmmmaa!"
"Oooohh, that's so nice, baby."

It has become second nature to such a degree that a kiss could just as likely stand for a bite. When conflict arises over positioning or possession of a toy, someone may receive a subtly aggressive "kiss," one that seems to really mean, "Move over, and back off!" How could a kiss mean back off? It makes sense if you are a twin. It's twin code communication.

If Emma wants a bite of my ice cream, she may also coincidentally remember that she loves me so much. She gives me a very sweet kiss and then peers over into my bowl. If you ask me, this is very advanced manipulation, much more complicated than telling a simple white lie.

And they say preemies have developmental delays.