"Plan This..."

I am a planner. I even plan to plan. Actually, I should say I was a planner.

When we decided to plan to get pregnant I was so happy. I was still nervous, but I knew my heart needed to be a mother and I felt like I was ready to give. For a year, I prepared my heart. I started quieting myself so that I could hear God's whisper a little more clearly. I started becoming a regular at my church. I wanted to make it my job to listen. Don't do anything rash, I thought. Just listen.

I started being more active in my church, started giving as I saw fit. I started helping with a church program called "Ramp it Up" where we build ramps for families and individuals who need them to improve their mobility and daily life. I had no idea my dad was also involved in the program. I guess I wasn't listening. It was amazing to me that I really could be led. For once I felt like I was letting go of my illusion of control and following what I call The Whisper in my heart. "Hmmm. I don't have to worry about everything. I don't really have control anyway. I'm just getting in God's way." He led me to my church. He led me to my family. Then one day I was sitting in my office chair at work and The Whisper took over my thoughts. I clearly heard that I was ready to receive a precious gift.