Merge of the Meals

I think I'm over my Feeding Disorder. I feel myself stressing less over it. I still prepare Baby Bullet recipes for during the day while we're at work or when we don't eat together, but we have been eating a lot of our meals together now. I've also chilled out about their diet. It is important to me for them to eat healthy food and to eat a variety of things, but I also let them have the good "kid food" now and then too, like corn dogs, chicken nuggets and pizza. I'm happy to loosen up a bit. On Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays, Rodney is home from work so we eat at least one meal as a family if not all three. On Wednesdays, and Thursdays, he gets home in time to eat dinner with us. So I've been making meals for all of us to share. We also got rid of our coffee table and our habit of eating in the living room. It feels really good. I feel a little like Super Woman when I have dinner ready for him when he gets home after I have been at work myself. Sitting down at the kitchen table as a family is something I want to continue. It's amazing how that setting change and a little flexibility has made my heart feel. It's nice to eat the same thing for a change. I feel like we are more in sync as a family. At Thanksgiving, I couldn't stop smiling while watching my kids eat in big people chairs with big people silverware by their little bitty selves.

Along with these minor changes, Rodney and I have been changing in our own separate ways for the betterment of our family. 

First, I went on a mission to silence my brutally self-critical inner voice by speaking to a counselor and my general practitioner. I'm so glad I did because I feel so much better. I feel happier, more able to enjoy my family, and less focused on my mistakes and weaknesses. I think it's been a gift to all of us.

And Rodney decided that it's time to get healthy. He's been toying with the idea for a while now... planting a vegetable garden for the last two years, introducing me to more veggies like eggplant and squash, making me see that veggies aren't just for babies, haha! In the last few months, he has totally changed his lifestyle and I am so proud of him. I can really tell that he is entering a new chapter of his life and becoming more of who he is and who he will be.

I have a limited list of what I can cook and what I like, and none of it is super healthy. I'm not the greatest cook. I'm really good at steaming veggies now though, thanks to the kids, hehe.... I guess I should've been paying more attention when my mother was in the kitchen. I have burned my share of meals, but usually they turn out okay. Most of the time, as I'm eating what I cooked, I'm thinking that it's not as good as it should be. It's not terrible, but it always needs more of something or less of something. I miss the mark, over-correct. Bleh.... I'm learning to let it go and just do my best. 

Rodney has been watching a lot of competitive cooking shows. I've been watching with him some. But the shows seem to have inspired his inner chef. He's decided that he will cook more of our meals which really takes a lot of weight off of my shoulders, and I have decided that I will try my best to eat whatever he makes and not make an alternative meal for any of us no matter what he cooks. That's a big step for me because I have always been a picky eater.

One Sunday afternoon when the kids and I came home from church, he had made us a lovely shrimp lunch. I was hungry, but I knew I couldn't eat it. It was too much for me too soon. Sea food is like level 50 for me. Baby steps. I did take one bite of one shrimp, but I couldn't make myself keep eating it. It tasted fine; I just don't like the texture or the smell of shrimp. I can't get past it. I ate the broccoli and heated up some left over spaghetti. I could tell that he had worked hard and he was disappointed. I hope he doesn't make shrimp again because I told myself that next time I will woman up. I'll just try to think pretty thoughts. Or maybe a few whiskey shots would make it easier. ;) Other than the shrimp, he's been feeding us very well. We're eating a lot more vegetables and fish, less salt, less pork, and less fat. I feel so happy about that. Go, Rodney. He's inspiring me to finally take that step into the right eating direction. He's taking me by the hand and making my eating dream come true. 

             My Fathers Day Painting, "Leader, Provider"