Like a Record, Babies!

When you tell people you have twins, their eyes bug out a little. I've heard a lot of people say they were so afraid that would happen to them, like it's some kind of  horrible disease. I think people have an exaggerated idea of how difficult it really is. It's not "double trouble" like people always so cleverly say. I bet it is a lot more difficult for people who have their children very close together. They have a toddler and a newborn. That just sounds much harder than what I deal with. At least my babies are always on the same page.  I had two kids and only one pregnancy! A boy and a girl, and all my dreams came true. They make me feel like "the chosen one." They remind me that miracles do happen and sometimes they happen to you.

People are always asking me, "Is it harder?" My answer is, "I don't know." I've never had just one baby, so I don't know what that's like. But I imagine it's not all that different. You just do things twice. You make more food. You learn to operate things without the use of your arms. You learn.

 My life has changed very dramatically since their arrival. For one thing, sleep is now just another item on my to-do list. It's just not the same. I feel like I have to hurry up and do some chores, or hurry up and enjoy myself while they're asleep, and then hurry up and go to bed because they will be waking up at the crack of dawn.  There will always be baby food that needs making, diapers that need changing, a house that needs cleaning and errands that I might never get to run. I sometimes feel like I do everything twice and then I have to do it again...and again. And the other thing that's just not the same, of course, is the get-up-and-go. That's a thing of the past. I am a little jealous of some of my friends who can just pack up and take their baby everywhere they go. It never slows them down. I can't really do that as easily. I'm getting better at it, but it's not that simple. I have to have a double stroller because I can't just carry them both everywhere. I can't stay for very long because they will want out of the stroller. That's fine, but then my outing becomes solely about staying on top of two babies. It's sort of like trying to hold on to two wet, slippery bars of soap. Sure, I can bring the babies to the party...but I won't be able to talk to you or anyone else.

There are moments when my life feels like a broken record that always skips my favorite part. I have to stop and remind myself that this is fun, that these babies won't be babies for very much longer, and that all the chores and errands can wait. They are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Refocus.

I thank God that I have so much help, that I am not a teen mother and that my husband and I spent six years of marriageless courtship and four years of childless marriage. We needed every single moment of that time to mature and prepare, to sleep soundly for however long we wanted, and to get up and go, go, go.

It's over-whelming; it's fun; it's hard; it's easy.
It's LOVE!

Monstermania

Emma Lynn is a hard core Sesame Street fan. She is working very hard on that tongue twister. Susie who sells seashells by the sea shore must be from Sesame Street. As soon as I mention it, she starts in with her S's and bee-lines to the TV so she is sure to get a front row seat. She nods her head and blinks her eyes hard as she spits out her buzzing attempt at her favorite words of the day. When she sees the first monster, Murray, come on the screen, she goes into a screeching fan frenzy like Beatlemania: "EEEEEEEE!!!" and her breath puffs in and out. It's Sesame Street-mania! Her body stiffens, her fists tighten and she stomps her feet as fast as she can in pure exhilaration. She is locked in from that moment on. There's no use in calling her name. Ethan is not as captivated by "The Street" as Emma. He usually wants to play with Momma during this time, now that he finally has me all to himself. We read a book or play with blocks, but every time a song comes on, you'll have to excuse him for a moment because he can't hear a word you are saying.

Emma sits Indian style for most of the show, and hangs on every word that's said by those little colorful Muppets. But when cartoon Cookie Monster comes on with his song for the letter sound of the day, it's back up on her feet for her uncontrollable huffing and puffing, stiffened, squeaking, stomping square dance in the middle of the living room floor. She is all the entertainment we need. She inspires her dad and me to sing along: "e,e,e,e,e,e,e,e,e,e-elephant! Elephant is a word that starts with E, e-e-e-e-!"

Go, Emma!! :)

I love that the show promotes language development. If you've never watched, there is always a word of the day, which is now referred to as "the word on the street." A small word, big word, any kind of word is featured and discussed in different ways in an episode. There is still a letter of the day and a number of the day, too. It's just good stuff. Never mind Elmo and Cookie Monster, who just can't seem to get their pronouns right, or the bear who, despite his mental sharpness, cannot seem to pronounce his R's. I cannot seem to justify the reason for the presence of these issues, other than promoting tolerance of differences, which does seem to be a strong overtone of the show.

I love that my babies love Sesame Street. I loved it when I was little, too. I really can't believe it's still on. What's even more amazing to me is that there are still some of the same people from the cast that I remember. Maria, Louis, Bob, Gordon and Susan all still live on Sesame Street. I think it is very cool how they have remained relevant by updating their slang and keeping up with the times. I can tell that they are conscious of political correctness and of all different cultures and types of people. I like watching it just as much as the babies do. There are always cute little puns and allusions to culture and expressions that are detectable only by the parents...some of which are even a little racy, surprisingly. There are some new residents on The Street, some new monsters, but a lot still remains the same and that appeals to my love of tradition.

I remember a time when I was a little girl that I stayed home sick from school. My dad called me several times to make sure that I was drinking plenty of 7up and that I was watching Sesame Street, as if Sesame Street were part of my recovery.

Watch on, Emma and Ethan, doctor's orders!

The Yin and the Yang

People say twins have a unique bond. They say that some twins can even feel each other's emotions and finish each other's sentences. I wonder if Emma and Ethan will have a bond like that. I'm looking forward to seeing their interactions as they get older and their relationship develops. One thing is for sure already. These babies go together like the yin and the yang.

They will not be put to bed without the other. Once, on their first over-night visit away from home, Mimi tried to sleep them in separate pack-n-plays. They wouldn't stop crying until she put them in the same one. She said when she figured it out, they looked at each other with exhaustion and relief, and then rested their heads and fell asleep.

I love my video monitor because I can actually be a fly on the wall. I watch them as they fall asleep to see that they end up in safe positions. They don't know I'm watching and listening to their sweet little sleepy interactions. These moments at bedtime and early morning are so precious to me. As they try to soothe themselves to sleep, they look to each other for comfort. I may see a head pop up suddenly, and then quietly settle after seeing that, yes, their twin is still peacefully sleeping beside them. All is well. They never have to feel alone. They snuggle up to each other in the crib for warmth and security. Sometimes they actually sleep in a yin yang shape or they take the exact duplicate position.

One baby always wakes up first, usually Ethan. He talks and sings to himself a little before he eventually stands up and calls for me. Sometimes he starts touching Emma's face or hand gently. Maybe he's trying to wake her up, but it seems more absent-minded, as if he were exploring his own face or hand out of boredom. I have seen Emma do the same thing to Ethan in those early morning hours.

If one baby is in the play pen and one is out, they find it very amusing to be separated by that mesh screen. They laugh at the sight of each other and touch their fingers together or lean in for kisses through the mesh. They giggle at the funny smashed face looking back at them.

If Ethan gets upset or has a screaming fit, Emma may start crying too. She hates seeing her brother upset.

If Ethan is apprehensive about trying a new food, he looks to Emma as his personal food tester. He leans a little forward, craning his neck: "You're actually eating this stuff?" He may be more likely to try the food after he has seen Emma eat it up and eagerly take the next bite. "Well...okay...."

Emma handles Ethan's disagreeable nature over the toys with cheer...somehow. I wonder how long this will last. Sometimes Ethan comes from across the room just to take whatever Emma has chosen from the toy box. He can be pretty aggressive, and he cries and whines until he gets it. She has learned to turn away at the last moment and avoid him as long as possible before it happens. And then it does. Her toy is gone and Ethan is satisfied. I would expect Emma to cry and try to get the toy back, but most of the time she doesn't. Most of the time, she even smiles, like she knows a secret...like she has tricked him into wanting a toy that she really didn't want in the first place.

They hardly ever cry from hurting each other. They bump heads now and then, or step on each other, roll on top of the other, smash or pin the other against a wall or the crib. Emma drags herself out from under Ethan and resumes whatever she was doing. I've seen her stand on Ethan's leg or his back in the crib after she wakes up, but he just rolls over and keeps snoozing. Once, Ethan rolled totally on top of Emma. I waited for a second, but she wasn't rolling or pulling herself free. I rushed in and moved him quickly. If Emma was sleeping too soundly to know she was being smashed, or if she just tolerated it, I don't know.

Sometimes Emma cries loudly before she falls asleep for several minutes. Ethan just lays there with his eyes closed, patiently waiting her out. They are quite accustomed to being inconvenienced by the other, to being pushed or poked, tripped or fallen on.

Seeing them give each other affection is my favorite part of having twins. It can bring tears to my eyes. Even though they are very different, even though they can't ever seem to get a moment to themselves.... they love each other. It's clear.

Sometimes, in a way, watching them is like watching myself and Rodney. We have that kind of gravitational pull towards one another, that yin and yang factor. But the way the babies handle conflict makes us look like fools.

They asked Jesus, "Do you hear what these children are saying?" "Yes," Jesus replied. "Haven't you ever read the Scriptures? For they say, 'You have taught children and infants to give you praise.'"
Matthew 21:16